Last week I shared how introducing a landline handset helped me keep my cell phone out of my bedroom.

I solved this issue with a practical solution:

• replacing the phone alarm with an alarm clock
• getting a bluetooth handset for emergency calls

With both of those in place, there was no reason I ‘needed’ my phone in my room anymore. And it worked.

I had no hesitation.

But, what if you are one of the many people who want to stop scrolling on your phone before bed or checking your phone first thing in the morning but you can’t seem to break the habit?

You know the solutions to keep your phone out of of your room, but you’re not doing it.

It’s because you are facing a psychological roadblock.*
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What’s your ‘Why Not’?

Once you know you’re facing a psychological roadblock, it’s important to ask why you are hesitating. What’s your ‘Why Not’?

Ask yourself what worries emerge when you imagine keeping your phone in a different room. What about it makes you feel uneasy?

Maybe the time right before bed or right after waking up is the only time in the day that feels like it’s truly your own. The rest of your day is filled with commitments and obligations to others, and this is the only time of day no one is demanding anything of you. You can turn off your brain, scroll social media, laugh at some memes, share the ones that make you think of a friend. The idea of not having that time to yourself makes you uncomfortable.

If that’s the case, then of course you would hesitate to change.

You might want to protect your attention span and your sleep by removing the phone, but you also want to protect this time that feels precious to you. Your ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ are in conflict.

And as long as you have a compelling ‘Why Not’, you will struggle to change. But is your ‘Why Not’ based on a story you are telling yourself?
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What’s true?

More than one client I’ve worked with over the years has described this ‘Why Not’. It’s the idea that your day is not your own except those times before bed and first thing in the morning.

One client even said, “When I step my foot on the ground, the day is no longer mine.” But as we discussed what that really means, it was clear she was buying into a story. She believed having responsibilities to others meant not having any autonomy. Work, family, and household obligations filled her day.

It makes perfect sense why she clung to those quiet moments in her room.

But, was her belief true?

That’s where the real work starts. Once you identify the beliefs keeping you stuck, it’s time to challenge them. It’s about staying open to evidence your belief is not as ‘true’ as you first thought. You can take small steps and pay attention to what actually happens.

What if you try keeping your phone out of the room for three days as test. Maybe you read a novel you’ve had on your bookcase for a year. Maybe you journal. Maybe you talk to your partner. Whatever you do instead, observe what happens. How do you feel?

Lasting change happens when your beliefs shift and stop holding you back. But that only happens when you know which belief is getting in your way and then challenge it.

Cheers,

Cat

*There is most likely a biological roadblock here too since phones impact your reward pathways and dopamine levels, but breaking the habit and resetting your dopamine is easier when you address the psychological roadblock.

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